|
GOD
COMMITS SUICIDE 
By: Assan Vaswani "Majboor" Address: Cover Page Design : Mukesh Tilokani Published on
Internet Year of Publication (December) 2006 @All rights including the rights to translate or to reproduce this book or parts thereof except for brief quotations are reserved with author. Book is available with Author &
Price : $10 (US) (Outside India) |
|
INTRODUCTORY remarks on god commits suicide God Commits Suicide is a brave collection of poetry by Assan Vaswani. Do not be misled by the title: his commitment to and desire for a spiritual power is evident, as well as his genuine admiration for mankind. One theme that runs through this collection is the notion that modern times have brought modern disasters, and humanity has committed a magnitude of merciless acts in the name of god. Vaswani brings this to the readers' attention in an audacious manner: He wants to shake things up- encourage us to think He writes with great vigor and self-knowledge that it is not a crime against god to question him, to consider the end of him. The crime is, rather, what humankind does to one another - most frequently in the name of god. Vaswani's particular signature is exemplified in his tender moments of questioning, as in the poem "Illegitimate Child," wherein he askes," ...Is man an angel?" Gentle queries such as this are present througout his book. His desire to narrow the gap between what is known and what is believed separate him from other voices who cry for signs of a higher power, who bleed in the name of the name of the word "God," who follow a malevolent translation of a holy book. It is this poet's belief that humankind is an earthly manifestation of god; that the terrible mistakes of religious and political leaders are tragic landmines set out by a god who is worshipped by the perpetrators as well as the victims. This is an irony Vaswani clearly understands and suggests we pay close attention to. The question is, should God have known better than to have entrusted us with the power of self-determination, freedom to strive, freedom to serve. Has humankind maligned the spirit in which GOd has set up this world? Yes, yes and yes. Vaswani writes,: ..God has been created/to give mental prop to humans/so that they can forget the truth/about their own helplessness/and nobodiness..." The notion of "nobodiness," is startling, rich, and original. The direct and unapologetic attitude is not soapbox chatter but an unabashed expression of dismay at how things have turned out. Assan Vaswani is a purposeful writer, realistic and accessible. He says what so many of us dare to whisper in a dark hour of despair. What a refreshing collection of poems written by a man who faces his doubts but who nevertheless communicates with authority, tenderness and a lack of self-importance. "God Commits Suicide" is a quest to discover by inquiry, as a child would, when the world seems too complex, too uncertain, too baffling. Vaswani's voice and mood are open, unfaird. Carine Topal, Torrance, California March 20, 2006 |
|
1. A REQUEST Kindly |
|
2. REBELLION Oh God ! I don’t want to pray or worship because I don’t need your indulgence nor compassion, neither forgiveness nor any favour. If I’ve done any misdeed I merit apt punishment and I must get it in full measure. I’ll never approach you for reducing the punishment or for reprieve. I’ll not resort to flattery nor supplication on that account. I am ready to undergo punishment without any protest. Let your punishment even if patently harsh, be the strong evidence of your impartial governance. Please don’t mind when I say that I don’t need a temple a mosque, a church a synagogue, a gurdwara or any other place of worship, as all these are acclaimed as your holy abodes where people come to pray and cringe for forgiveness. I for one do not need it. I don’t need your indulgence nor compassion neither forgiveness nor any favour. All I need is your impartial judgment and strong governance. |
|
3. A DIP IN THE HOLY RIVER From times immemorial the sinners have been arriving here from far - off places to bathe at the bank of this holy river. After washing themselves clean of their numerous sins and becoming absolutely sinless, they have again accumulated some more sins and have once more, by bathing earned blessing from the benevolent river. It seems the tradition of sinning and subsequent absolution on receiving blessings has been here for a very long time, else why should sinners come here so often for a holy dip ? My fear is that the waters of this holy river once sparklingly pure - have been so much mudied by the dirt of sins that I shouldn’t dare take bath there anymore else the dumped sins of worshippers may rise to the surface and overwhelm my conscience completely. |
|
4. GREAT MEN HONOURED Many centuries back a great man named Gautam Buddha was born. He was a fountain of compassion He propounded a new philosophy based on non-violence, piety and pity. Under its influence the people began shunning hatred strife and ill-will, there was an atmosphere of love and fellow-feeling. But this didn’t continue long, the show was short - lived. Buddha died and along with his dead body his principles too were cremated by his numberless enthusiastic disciples. There have remained of course his pagodas, statues and elaborate worshipping with incense and aplomb. After a very long period A poor man Christ was born. He was an apostle of peace and kindness which he preached where ever he went. He wanted humans to be humane in the real sense. But he was not allowed to reform the world. His opponents stopped him short, he was arrested and imprisoned and ultimately crucified. After his death, his numberless enthusiastic disciples buried him, along with his principles. There have remained ofcourse his churches, statues and elaborate worshipping with incense and aplomb. And not long ago A great man Gandhi was born in India He was an apostle of truth and Ahimsa. He brought in revolution in the minds of people, there was an upsurge of new sensibility. But this didn’t continue for long. He was shot dead in the broad day-light. And his numberless enthusiastic disciples while mourning his death cremated his body and principles together. There have remained of course his statues, his books and elaborate worshipping with incense and aplomb. |
|
5. God Commits Suicide That man is very old he has completed one hundred years, his physical strength is low but his eyes have a strange shine and rather unusually his brain is unimpaired. Through out his life he has been seeking an answer to his question from saints, sages, sanyasies priests, pirs, pontiffs and philosophers but every where the answer hasn’t been a straight one. It has been circuitous and full of cliches and conditionalities. As a result, there has been emergence of many more questions, rather than answers. The old man puts his question simply thus : Human being doesn’t know why he is born in this world, neither does he know why death is inevitable for him. Then why such kind of ignorant creature has been created after all ? If it is a strategy who, in that case, is the strategist ? The old man is anxious to have interface with God to get a reply from Him a clear and an unambiguous reply a direct and straight reply without any ifs and buts. Having come to know his query God is frightened. He doesn’t want to meet the old man, much less argue with him. The old man is alive and will remain so until God ordains otherwise. He has completed hundred years Yet there are no signs of his imminent death. But, on this side of the fence the old man is also frightened. His fear is based on the possibility of God committing suicide out of remorse, repentance and desperation. And, in case that happens what would be the fate of humans including he himself who have no knowledge of their beginnings and are ignorant about the end aswell ? |
|
6. INVENTING NEW RELIGION For many centuries now the ancient religions —- Hinduism, Christianity, Islam Taoism, Confucianism, Shanto have been in existence just for name. I don’t know why ? The names Of Vedic Rishis, Christ, Mohamed Zorastra, Buddha, Moses are being formally uttered I don’t know why ? When human race has made so many strides towards inventing numberless new concepts, new objects and new institutions the invention of a new religion wouldn’t have been that difficult. It seems the human beings aren’t interested in inventing the new religion or, may be they don’t find any need of it. They find it expedient to allow continuance of old faiths as they provide some ossified ideals which, every body knows are but a facade behind which the criminals among them continue their nefarious activities and flourish. Why should they bother about new religion when the going is good otherwise ? |
|
7. GOD REPENTS I created man after a long gestation to make him the crown of creation, so that he brings new light on the earth, so that he brings beauty and fragrance there. He was given the earth as dwelling place where there’s everything in plenty. Gold, silver and other precious metals are in abundance. The food and fruits are sufficient to feed billions of people. But the tragedy is : some humans are overfed some go hungry, some children are plump and ruddy some are emaciated and pale. Further, they manufacture war-weapons and are plotting to kill one another. They fight on earth, in air and on sea and laugh at the deaths of their foes. They think it is their big success. They have divided earth among themselves as if it were their personal property. Or in the name of religion they slay the young and the aged alike. When I mull over the present plight of earth I repent for having created the humans who are good-looking and clever for sure but are totally devoid of wisdom and compassion. |
|
8. HUMAN BEING — A CLEVER ANIMAL Human being is a clever animal. He has adopted many strategies for self-delusion. He pretends to be ignorant while he knows the reality very well. He pretends as if he has no knowledge while he has full knowledge of the happenings. He is groping in the dark like a sightless person. He doesn’t know anything about God nor did his forefathers know yet he continues to chant God’s name and say ever and anon that God is the creator God is very merciful God is pure God is omnipresent God is omnipotent God is destroyer of wicked people etcetera. In truth God is the creation of human mind and all the attributes of God are also human inventions. God has been created to give mental prop to humans so that they can forget the truth about their own helplessness and
nobodiness. the name of God and treat that inane repetition as a great prayer which is in effect a futile exercise. Further, the human being is after all human, he has committed many errors and is likely to commit more errors hereafter. It is said by wise men that to realise the truth about our mistakes is the beginning of wisdom. Here, in the case of human being, this realisation is totally absent. On the contrary, the human being thinks that God being compassionate, all his earlier and present faults have been condoned and those of the future would also be treated likewise. Hence he isn’t worried about his mistakes isn’t worried about his misdeeds. For him, no oppression is unjust no crime merits punishment no devilish deed will attract penalty since God is omnipresent God is always there to forgive God is always there to condone mistakes. Om Shanti …….. Om Shanti …….. Om Shanti Shanti …….. Shanti …….. Shanti.
* * * (Let
there be peace, let there be peace, let there be |
|
9. MY REGRETS On witnessing an unknown person’s dead body being taken to cremation-ground Gautam Buddha was set into deep thinking. His heart was filled with so much sorrow that he renounced the worldly pleasures and went into the woods to find out an answer as to why every person ultimately dies. Even the death of a stranger disturbed his mind and brought about revolution in his life. Later, he became a great person a great thinker a great guide and a great philosopher. On my side I have witnessed many a dead body being taken to cremation ground and have joined the mourners’ processions going there, I have seen my own kith and kin near and dearones disappear before my very eyes from this world, yet I’ve never given a thought to renouncing the world nor have I any further plan to retire to the woods for meditation. I have developed an odd habit of considering a dream as reality and a reality as dream. My blind faith, based on myths, is that man is immortal he lives innumerable lives death destroys his body only his soul does’nt perish there’ll he resurrection / restoration etcetera - all no more than wishful thinking. As a consequence I have failed to become a great person I have failed to become a great thinker I have failed to become a great guide and I have failed to become a great philosopher. |
|
10. EXODUS FROM HEAVEN Devas and Devies of Heaven are all angry with God. What great attraction now remains in this erstwhile sought - after Heaven ? They argue: ‘Life is more comfortable for earthly humans than for us. Our living conditions are veritably abominable spiceless and inglorious.’ Our houses are not airconditioned. We haven’t got multichannel TVs No continuous musicals No mobiles No blue films No all-revealing sex sports. There’s scarcity of fast foods hamburgers, hotdogs, cookies beers, whiskies, wines. There’s no champagne no English scotch no Russian Vodka. What we get is the same ‘Som Ras’ — which has neither taste nor flavour. For eating we continue to get same ambrios of olden times. We don’t get tandoori roties basmati rice, shish kebab or surmai fish. We can’t continue life in this atmosphere of total boredom. We request you humbly Oh great God that we be permitted to emigrate from the Heaven to Earth. God (in spiritual meditation) opened this eyes briefly and gave a serious thought to the problem in hand and replied thus : I’m in full agreement with you as regards poor living conditions in Heaven. I have already been mulling this issue for quite some time now. Let me tell you in confidence that I have already sent my request to the Earth authorities for emigration If you also submit such applications I would , without any resentment or rancour forward them to that place. Hari Om Tat Sad Hari Om Tat Sad Amen. |
|
11. IN SEARCH OF IMMORTALITY It seems while searching for immortality and working hard for its attainment I shall soon happen to die. You all folks will bury me in the churchyard. Some would at that time shed tears some would place flowers on my grave so that my troubled soul may rest in peace. But after some period I would feel as if I had never been born. The world would be full of laughter, the spring as usual would arrive, and there would be flowers blooming in the garden, but there wouldn’t be any where even trace of my existence. None would have my new address since my soul, as if in exile, would still be wandering from one country to another in search of that damned immortality. |
|
12. Maskman To Conceal my innate ugliness and misdemeanour I put on a mask, but the devilish original was showing. I went on putting mask after mask. In the Process I became a super masked man, I could then breathe easy. But of late I have developed a craze for unmasking myself and this is not an easy task. I feel tired and exhausted as the masks are hard to remove - they are so much stuck up with my body and soul. They have been fed on the blood of my real self. They're now loth to leave the state of license and luxury. I don't know when this conflict of real and counterfeit is to end, or may not end after all, and become an incurable ulcer causing me incrutiating pain through out my life. |
|
13. HUMAN-A DISOWNED BEING In the train a lone child is sitting at the corner of the bench. Sometimes he smiles some times he becomes sombre sometimes he’s on the verge of weeping. I give him a lollipop he is surprised and his face lights up spontaneously. But after a pause the same innocence and the same seriousness return to him. He told me he had been travelling that way from times immemorial, alone and alone like a homeless vagrant. He didn’t know who his parents were, nobody had ever craddled him in the arms nobody had ever kissed his lips. The feeling of being an alien is now a permanent feature of his life. This has become a lasting aspect of his inexplicable existence. I, as a poet, am totally puzzled. I have failed to find any satisfactory clue to this unsolved puzzle. Is this an instance of extreme ignorance or a climax of some spiritual enlightenment ? None-the-less congratulation to his mum and dad for discarding their child and freeing themselves from the responsibilities of bringing him up. |
|
14. SINNING AND FORGIVING A person was caught while committing sin for the first time. He was brought before God. He expressed regret and pleaded for forgiveness. He promised he wouldn’t repeat that action thereafter. God was satisfied and let him go. But after a few days the same person was caught while committing the sin the second time. He again, before God, pleaded for forgiveness and promised not to repeat the offence thereafter. God was again impressed by his seeming sincerity and ordered his release. The person was very pleased on being shown mercy. Again for the third and fourth time, also the fifth and the sixth time and so on ad infinitum the person got caught in the act of sinning but continued to plead with merciful God who forgave him every time. At last God lost patience and asked the person as to when would he stop committing the sin. The person While folding his hands, said namastey, fell at the feet of God and kissed them with reverence. He added : Oh the most revered Almighty ! better you fulfil your own obligation and I fulfil mine. It seems I shall not refrain from sinning and you shall not refuse me forgiveness. |
|
15. ILLEGITIMATE CHILD When the great biologist Charles Darwin tried to prove that man is not much different from other animals of the earth, the staunch believers of various religions lost their sleep complete. They tried to remind us about ‘Adam’ and ‘Eve’ or ‘Adam’ and ‘Bibi Hawa’ or ‘Manu’ and Shridha’. They emphasised that the kingdom of God covers the entire globe from east to west and from north to south. They also proclaimed that man is an exceptional creation of God, man is never subject to mutations, he is God’s beloved child and an integral part of His. But strange enough, God has never openly endorsed this view anytime. At this end man is anxious to declare himself as son of God and wants to appease Him. Hence he has built many temples churches and mosques in His honour where he has made arrangement for prayers and His glorification. Yet the creation problem has remained unsolved as ever. But now this tangle should the resolved at the earliest as this intimately concerns the origin and race of the man, this is the question of his prestige and pride. Is man an angel ? Is he a devilish creature ? Is he a legitimate son of God ? Or is he an illegitimate creature altogether ? |
|
16. SEPARATION OF SOULS You and I your ‘self’ and my ‘self’. I am so much close to you bodily that I’m able to hear very clearly the soft sound of your breathing your lips have stuck tightly to mine like a thirsty human who hasn’t drunk water for years but later wants to empty the entire river of its flowing water in one single draught. The mysterious hunger has rolled our two bodies into a single one. What after all this signify ? Is it sex ? Is it passion ? Is it love ? or is it something else ? As I see it it’s an instinct of getting united, and then getting separated. It’s a dream dreamt by an awakened person. It’s a temporary writing on water that’s rushing towards the shores of non-existence.
We’re not one soul, we’re very much separate from each other. You and I have met here only by chance. The differences between souls are here immense and incalculable, the gulf between two souls is never bridgeable during this life time or in future. Not withstanding this why is there so much joy in our physical union and why is there so much sorrow when we are physically separated ? This, to me, is yet a mystery that is unresolved as of now. Some times I begin to think whether we humans are simply puppets dancing to the tune of some clever hidden puppeteer who is the sole Master of this Cosmic Show. |
|
17. NEW EPOCH The new inventions of science have well-nigh eliminated the distances between one country and the other, Earth space is mere a formality shown in the geographical maps. Humans live now so close that any one stretching an arm finds many a person in his/her embrace. We all humans are linked and connected so much that it is difficult to distinguish between a compatriot and a foreigner. Our life on this planet Earth may be more comfortable than there—in the so-called Heaven. Even angels and their supreme boss, God may feel tempted to come down and stay with us for good. But there’s a condition that-humans reject their old mind-set, that they reject old anachronistic beliefs and traditions, that they say good-bye to ossified brain, and write a new chapter in the history of human progress and human fellowship. |
|
18. MEANINGLESS LIFE There’s neither sorrow nor joy, neither tears nor smiles, Oh Almighty What a meaningless life ! There’s no anxiety, no throbbing of heart, no expression of anger, no complaint, Oh Almighty What a meaningless life ! There’s neither moon-lit night nor total darkness, neither star-lit night nor starless sky, Oh Almighty What a meaningless life ! There’s no joy of spring nor depression of autumn, neither twittering birds nor frightening silence, Oh Almighty What a meaningless life ! There’s no expectation of union nor pangs of separation, no daring love nor fear of rivalry, Oh Almighty What a meaningless life ! There’s no intoxicating wine nor cup-bearer’s indifference, neither conscious pain nor untutored glee, Oh Almighty What a meaningless life ! Who says this world is a great creation ? This life is worse than death. There’s neither passion nor any glory, Oh Almighty What a meaningless life ! |
|
19. VOYAGE I know it too well that by now I have passed through many a stage of life. At any time a little more speed in the wind can upset my old and outdated boat and sink it into bottomless sea from where no information comes either of the boat or the boatswain. Inspite of it I’m not unduly alarmed I’m none the less quite aware and slightly restive. In the mean time on the surface of sea, the sporty antics of sea-animals, the fading glow of sunset and the evening breeze continue non-stop. Are not all these beautiful scenes and ear-pleasing melodies enough to entertain and enthral me ? |
|
20. LOOKING BACK ON PAST The humanity’s eyes are always fixed on the past while the past is nothing but writing on the yellowing pages of history, something true, something false something sweet, something bitter. The past which was buried centuries back can’t be resurrected now. It is merely the reminder of old friendships and old enmities. The dilapidated walls of the monument have long ago crumbled to dust, they are, in sum, heaps of rubble. This past is like a deserted and desolate place, nothing valuable will come out from digging deep into these ruins. The actors of the past are all in deep slumber, historically. They would never get up from the sleep hard though we may try for this to happen. Then, why should we lose our sleep over the issue ? Those ancient personages lived their lives as individuals, performed their deeds according to their own lights and then said good-bye to the world. Is the past worthwhile if that makes us blind to our present conditions, if it makes us insensitive, prevents us from apprehending and appreciating the difference between it and the present ? Instead of clearing our vision creates hazy atmosphere or like opium, produces intoxication of the brain resulting in total neglect of hard reality. We continue to look back and remain sometimes happy, other times unhappy. We busy ourselves in keeping the accounts of the past and at first opportunity, in the name of religion, race, caste or colour, kill like mad those innocent people who have no relation whatsoever with the historical misdeeds. We burn to ashes the houses of friends and neighbours, murder in cold blood children, old men, young men and women, or we render them orphans, widowed and unsheltered. We destroy thereby the properties of crores of rupees resulting in the undoing of all previous economic progress of decades. |
|
21. AN UPROOTED COMMUNITY Consequent to the partition of India, the migration of Hindu Sindhis from Sindh was an event historic and mind-boggling, with community running for cover in every nook and corner of India. It ended the era of ease and comfort and threw a serious challenge for survival and new life. It was a great experience of adjustment, new people with new lingos new predilections and new customs. For community there were numerous instances of stumbling, falling, and getting up, but none shed tears, none begged for alms. Keeping in mind the demand of times the community invigorated itself, their self-confidence soared to great heights their strength and determination became phenomenal, they decided to stand on their own legs, they valued self-respect even in hard times. It appeared as if the new evolved soul of the community had woken from long slumber.
One critic said : This uprooted community is the most unlucky on earth. I said: I am envious of this community. The gold becomes ‘Kundan’ after passing through fire. The humans become great after facing calamities and overcoming crisis. |
|
22. ON MY BIRTHDAY One dear friend came to remind me of my birthday. I was surprised, as if I had woken from the sleep. What, the year has ended so soon ? After attaining sixty years of age the person seems to find years passing very fast. As if only yesterday my friends had come with their presents to felicitate me on my retirement. They were very happy that I had been a free man. Having completed the life-journey—- boring and luckless—- I had now reached the junction-point from where I’ll be able to travel further straight to Heaven / Hell. Those God-fearing friends are my well-wishers. They are anxious to send me away to Heaven at the earliest. They don’t know that I might receive an order to go to Hell instead, as I am not faultless nor sinless. I am no saint or all-virtue. Hence I don’t find any merit in reaching there quickly when my future is uncertain. Those friends and relations of mine don’t know that I haven’t any interest in entering Hell or Heaven. I don’t want to meet God/Ishwar/Allah. Let them remain there in their respective position. This world, after all is not that bad. If there’s badness, there’s goodness too. If there’s cowardice, there’s bravery too. If there’s enmity, there’s friendship too. If there’s sorrow, there’s happiness too. If there’s slavery, there’s freedom too. If there’s ugliness, there’s beauty too. If there’s hatred, there’s love too. If there’s discord, there’s togetherness too. |
|
23. HIGH EXPECTATIONS On the birth of a baby the high expectations of parents- mummy, dady and others —- kill the smile and laughter of the newcomer. In the schools and colleges the undue expectations of teachers blight the youth of students and make them miserable beyond endurance. During his tenure of job government or private the expectations of employers their rules, regulations, outdated traditions, discipline punctuality etcetera all conspire to put a donkey’s load on his shoulders. Further the excessive expectations of the beloved, giles and wiles, the huge hotel bills, frequent pricy gifts, exorbitant taxi bills, kill well-nigh half the romance of bachelorhood. After the marriage the sky-high expectations of wife the children and inlaws would have unnerved even the great philosopher Socrates. Besides, the expectations of community, country, world, environment, birds and animals, institutions and organisations, better remain unaccounted. Further more during his old age, the expectations of doctors as regards elderly’s health bills, expectations of advocates as regards court bills, expectation of dear ones, relatives as regards inheritance, are all nothing but expectations and expectations. And, in the end after his death during his first encounter with God, the latter said: welcome, you guy! your arrival here is opportune. I have just now finished for you a memorandum of my demands that is, my expectations of you. |
|
24. WELCOME PENSIONER At the age of sixty Atmaram retired from service —- his relations with office all terminated. Despite this, whenever he visits office his old colleagues offer him with great warmth, often, even in winter, a full glass of iced water from the water-cooler or sometimes half of a half cup of tea very strong and very black from the office canteen. What an inordinate concern for the poor pensioner, their erstwhile brother-in-the-job ! Else, who cares about whom in this world of down-right selfishness now-a-days ? |
|
25. Good Morning ! With my rising from the bed in the morning, many problems also arise simultaneously. As if they were lying in wait in some far corner of the house to attack their quarry who after a long spell of reconciling the philosophies of Socrates, Plato and Aristotle with one another, leaves the cosy bed with great reluctance. My wife Sujata complains with justification that she is over-burdened with the responsibility of running this home administration alone, hence there's confusion galore. Being under mental stress She has put salt instead of sugar in boiling tea also, she has put sugar, not salt in vegetable preparations. Our cussed servant Ramu is having a slanging talk with neighbour's young maid recently employed. Intermittently the rascal is laughing boisterously without any care for pending work. Let him return and I'll give him a piece of my mind. Here, my venerable parents, my mother and my father, are busy in singing devotional songs. Though their songs lack musical niceties yet the loudness has disturbed the sleep of our beloved cat who, to show her feline displeasure darts through the open window and disappears from our sight. She is evidently not interested in entering the blessed gates of heaven which open up when prayers are soulful. However, when the cat gets older like my parents and when her brain-screws somewhat loosen, She'll understand it all. At present she is young, virile and aggressive. The children are watching TV instead of doing their home-work. They are annoyed as the teacher at school had disallowed them from bringing ice-candies in the class- the real reason being that they had forgot last time to bring ice-cream cup for her gratis. Further, the teacher allots such a heavy home-work that their mummy and dady get completely bored and sometimes quarrel over it. I enter the bath-room to get a shower. I undress myself and open the tap but there isn't any water, the tap is totally dry, it means the overhead tank is now empty. I begin to ponder the issue of taking bath daily. Who on earth introduced the meaningless tradition and made a life of so many miserable and unhappy ? I come out of the bath-room grumbling and mumbling. Suddenly the telephone rings and I pick up the receiver. My friend Ramesh at the other end greets me with 'good morning !' I also respond spontaneously with a Cheery 'good morning !' And on my face are writ large the signs of stupendous stupidity |
|
26. OBEDIENT SON In the drawing-room of a big bungalow, on the walls are hung two imposing portraits of a couple —- a father and a mother (mum and dad) of the present owner. Both have smiling faces broad foreheads and are well-dressed. Early in the morning as soon as the sound of first visitor’s footsteps is heard the owner of the bungalow, Atmaram, rushes to the drawing-room, with two floral garlands in his hand and stays put just opposite the portraits till the visitor appears. He then bows most reverentially before the portraits and after garlanding them, crouches on the carpeted floor with prayer on his lips, seeking parental blessings. But this is also a fact, though now remembered by only a few, that during the last phase of their lives both his parents had left this very bungalow (which they had built with their own money) due to arrogant and insulting behaviour of their only son, Atmaram. They had got shelter in the small house of their distant relative where though space and amenities were limited, affection was unlimited. |
|
27. Crazy Poet He gets up in the wee hours of morn and begins writing poetry. On the First Occasion his family members also woke up suddenly and thinking that there was a miscreant seized him tightly but felt embrassed on discovery. Now they have come to realise that this kind of behaviour is the result of some technical flaw in his brain machinery Or may be a handiwork of etherial ghost having cosy abode in poet's mind. How would any physician help in the matter absolutely non-physical ? Even Lukman Hakim of ancient fame would have found this disease untreatable, much less curable He wanders about in office with such an air of non-chalance as if he has come down from another planet on a visit to this earth. His unkempt hair, indifferent dress, his 'devil-may-care' attitude to promotion in job, his no-flattery please behaviour with the boss-- are all unique. Once his boss opined we should thank God that he is simply semi-mad things could easily have been worse. |
|
28.
HAVEN FOR FLAMINGOES After traversing thousands of miles, many countries and barren lands sans passports and visas, these flamingoes descend on the marshy sands of Kutch every year without fail to produce a new generation of strong progeny. The Rann of Kutch provides them in abundance comfort, freedom, food and rest. Their happiness knows no bounds and they enjoy every moment of their sojourn. The young birds enjoy the warm embraces of each other. It’s the very romance of their lives, fulfilment of both body and spirit, they feel the long and arduous journey made to this place worth the making. After some period —- from the white eggs the noisy young ones are born who become flying - capable in a matter of months. Soon the couples and the birdies, the entire families plan their return journey to their motherland sans passports and visas. These flamingoes perhaps know not that some selfish and pseudo- intelligent humans the so-called leaders and statesmen of our nations have destroyed the freedom of their fellowmen. In the name of nation, state, language, race and religion, there are boundaries between countries, impediments and obstacles that prevent one human being from meeting another. The plots are hatched remorselessly to create division and distrust among humans, create strife and ill-will and consequent meaningless wars which result in horrendous blood baths. All this to enfeeble and destroy the future generations, to create Hell on earth in place of Heaven. The common man Wants to be free, he wants to live like flamingoes. He wants to live in comfort. He hates Hell and craves for Heaven. It’s Heaven that’ is his dream but will he realise it ? |
|
29. WONDERS OF FREEDOM Today I am a free man, as you too are. This guy is free and that guy is free. The men are free, as the women are. I wonder why then you are yet resentful ? You’re free to come to office late. You’re free to leave office for home betimes. Even while not working, you continue to draw salary. It seems there’s freedom, and freedom everywhere. You can accept bribe without inhibition as all officers are also free. You needn’t worry about law-courts as the judges are also free. It’s not compulsory for professors to lecture in the class as there are other activities to get engaged in, like seminars, symposia and conferences. students are also not bothered on this account as the examiners and invigilators are also free. It would be better that you first get a comprehensive life insurance cover and then travel by train, bus or taxi. You can travel by aeroplane as well, and at ease since drivers / pilots of all types of vehicles enjoy the privileges of total freedom. There are numerous, specialist physicians for every ailment and you’re free to be ensnared by any one. In fact there isn’t much fundamental difference between their attitudes as every specialist is an expert in
lining his own pocket at your expenses. as their promises go on piling up during election and subsequently, after the election we all are free to join the ‘janaza’ marking the sad demise of past promises. Janaza = Funeral procession |
|
30. Cultural Heritage Truth now remains dumb and humiliated. The wickedness, not goodness, now dominates the scene. There's little difference left between democracy and dictatorship. Simplicity is on the verge of extinction. The sweet Guru-disciple relationship is being buried fast. Paper-degrees from educational institions only count. The harmonious relation between husband - wife, father - son, brother - sister have become thing of the past. Selfishness has triumphed over renunciation. The brave people are in the bondage of cowards. The sycophants have become exceedingly prosperous. In short, we have given a short shrift to all our cultural traditions and values in all walks of life. But how ironical that of late we've gone crazy on the TV serials of both our epics Ramayana and Mahabharat which depict our age-old traditions, values and way of life and are our glorious cultural heritage. |
|
31. WOMAN’S STATUS Please don’t be ridiculous by proclaiming that woman is an angel or a deity come from Heaven who should be worshipped, since those who pamper women in public are the ones who cause them to commit suicide. Woman is simply a human being, she hasn’t come from heaven, nor from Hell. She has the same rights as the man has, and the similar duties, may be more arduous. Man alone is not the owner of this Earth nor is he more powerful. But right from the beginning, he has allotted to himself the title of a ‘superior sex’. He has also refused to recognise her as a woman in her own right. In the deeper recesses of his mind woman is a powerless human, she is humble and docile, she is less intelligent and less competent, she is like his shoes to be worn, like a toy to be played with, like a wine-draught for a sex-hungry man, yet she is the cause of his down fall. In real terms she is impudent and inglorious, she is unchaste and unreliable, she is notorious and bad character, she has bad name everywhere, her demeanour is condemnable, she is the meanest among mean, she has neither reputation nor status. |
|
32. Birth of New Poetry In the half empty coffee-cup was mixed a small portion of sun. Devils made a hop, the awakened dead bodies from the graves suddenly woke up, laughed boisterously but the estranged souls wept unconsolably. In the reservoir of coffee, night mixed its blackness, some ingredients of struggle and revolution were added to it. Then some innocent people were crucified which evoked laughter among crooks. some unchaste women smirked some eunuchs made a hue and cry to which living dead bodies took strong objection. On the scene arrived a poet who dipped his pen in the coffee potion in that unclean half-empty cup, and with undue haste, began to write from the wrong side and in an alphabet upside down without any motive or meaning, without 'bahr' or 'vazan', without 'kafiya' or 'radif', without cadence or rhythm. But no doubt it was unique and unprecedented. One inquisitive person asked the poet as to what was the meaning of the poem. The poet replied : This is New Poetry and by your ignorance you are insulting the poet aswell. However there will be thorough research to find the meaning of the poem. A seminar will be organised on appropriate scale. There will be hot discussion by literary critics Only thereafter would the meaning and purpose of the poem be available. For the time being you have to have patience because I too am puzzled as to what after all I have penned. New Poetry = Free Verse, sans rules of versifiction Bahr = metre, verse Vazan = measure Kafiya = the last letter in a verse Radif = the rhyming word of poem |
|
33. WORLD WAR III More than half a century has elapsed since the end of Second world war but there aren’t any signs of Third world war breaking out. This really had never been anticipated. Some skirmishes have surely taken place, but they subside quickly or they continue so tardily as if they were chess tournaments. Immediately after dropping bombs the planes disappear posthaste. Majority of bombs drop into oceans or in desert / mountainous terrains causing almost no damage to human life. Soon bombers piloted by robots will fight with enemy planes also piloted by robots. In the process the poor robots in their hundreds will be killed mercilessly. Future wars will be waged without human soldiers and there would be no blood-shed. The retrenched young soldiers will be employed in computer industries for training and manning machines, the old soldiers will be compulsorily retired as per prevalent government rules. The nuclear bombs in their thousands are getting rusted in silos. Government had spent billions, and numberless scientists had worked overtime for their manufacture. But now fresh billions will be required to defuse them. So happily there will be no retrenchment of eminent and patriotic scientists. The world population is increasing by leaps and bounds, babies are born in such number as if they are either puppies or kittens. Further the old men have refused to die on time, doctors have refused to obey even God’s orders and have virtually humiliated ‘God of death’. There are even unholy conspiracies being hatched to pass death sentence on ‘God of death’. If the human being doesn’t die what will happen to this domain of God ? |
|
34. POETS’ MEET The stage is crowded by poets-- some tall, others dwarfish some thin, others obese some good-looking, others average a few young, a great majority old but most of them suffer from baldness. Every one has a diary in hand containing poems composed during last two decades. The poems of old men are full of love and romance about spring and youth about secret meetings of lovers about their kissing and embraces about wines and taverns about wine-cups and cup-bearers. But the diaries of young poets contain poems of displeasure, grief and sorrow, of desperation and disloyalty, of weeping and shedding tears, of melancholia and death, of separation, worry and philosophising. Some poetesses are also present. They have come in full make-up. some have come in ‘salvar - kurta’, some have come in semi-transparent sarees, some are in jeans and T shirts. The poems recited by them are about full-scale revolution, about wife-beating, abuses and rape. some poetesses condemn inflation some condemn poor quality of make-up material of Lipstick and hairdyes or children’s wear, eats and drinks in hotels. But the audience is quiet as if they are dumb and deaf, as if poets’ meet is a veritable condolence-meeting or, as if they are soon to join a funeral procession. The attendees don’t know what the ‘rubai’ is or ‘gazal’ is what ‘kata’ is and what ‘doha’ is what ‘kafia’ is and what ‘radif’ is. For them , the poets’ meet is simply a gathering of some crazy people. |
|
35. ON MY SUDDEN DEATH The news of my death didn’t spread like wild fire. On my death none was ready to shed copious tears. On the contrary, some people smiled some laughed outright saying : This is a false news. This man wouldn’t die so easily. This requires a miracle to happen. Even death would require some time to contemplate on this tangled issue. The brahmins who perform last rites refused to come for their calling as they required solid evidence of my death. They demanded a copy of death certificate pertaining to the deceased, duly authenticated by a Gazetted officer. Morever, they had been engaged to perform ceremonies at the residence of some one else who had died earlier. On hearing the news God was non-plussed. He ultimately spoke thus: This man seems to be unique as nobody has wept for him, none has even expressed sorrow. The brahmins have roundly refused to perform his last rites. They would not recite sacred hyms but for which his soul wouldn’t exit from his mortal body. In consequence, his death would be totally unconstitutional. In the light of above circumstances, I, the creator, Preserver and Destroyer of all Cosmic life, both big and small, withdraw my earlier order of his death and ordain the restoration of his life. Let him continue to write poems and torment his fellow humans. This would at least keep me free from bother. |
* This book (God Commits Suicide) is his first book of poems in English. |